What Would Pythagoras Do?

Ask for directions

"Just ask for directions, honey" "Sssssh! I'm trying to remember my cosine laws!"

There’s a weird psychological phenomenon that humans exhibit regarding cognitive mapping — or how we instinctively choose how to move from Point A to Point B. Apparently we aren’t very good at it.

In fact, in a 1995 UC Berkeley study [pdf], one experiment showed that only 16% of subjects traveled the same walking path from A to B as B to A.

This doesn’t make sense, but I can’t help but find myself doing the exact same thing every single day! I take one route to the coffee machine, and a different route back to my desk. I take one route to work, and a slightly different route back home. It is entirely subconscious, but I’m mentally satisfied that my decisions are appropriately the fastest routes in both cases.

But clearly I’m wrong; both routes can’t be the fastest. Unless they’re equal, but that’s highly unlikely.

Perhaps human brains are easily tricked into thinking a certain route is faster over another. Didn’t we pay attention in high-school geometry?

53 Predictions for 2010

A adfasdf

"I see ... spackle and a ceiling fan."

No lie.

A while back, I said to a friend, “You know what they should do? Have Tim Burton redo Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp as Wonka.”

Years later, after my Wonka reboot surfaced and fueled by my own sense of self-importance, I said to the same friend, “You know what else they should do? Have Tim Burton redo Alice in Wonderland with Scarlett Johansson as Alice.”

Okay, so I got half of that last one.

But my amazing clairvoyance was more than proven in my mind. And today I will demonstrate that my power extends beyond future Tim Burton projects.

So before everyone makes their end-of-the-year predictions for 2010, I’m going to make this more difficult on myself and make 2010 predictions two months in advance.

What will we find in 2010? Here we go:

  • Michael Jackson’s secret song library leaks onto the Internet. Kanye samples using stupid pitch-correction effect. Jackson post-humorously wins Grammy.
  • Twitter viruses galore. Ellen inadvertently infects millions of house-wives; husbands forced to fix the damn computer again.
  • Windows 7 fails to impress; Apple gloats in increasingly unfunny ads.

For Sale: Murderous, Demonic Motorcycle

Devil Bike

El Diablo Rueda Dos

I hate/love Nigerian spammers. I hate that these people prey on the gullible and scared innocent well-wishers on the surface of the Internet. But I love it when they try to prey on me.

To quote Anthony Hopkins from “The Edge”: “Why is the rabbit unafraid? Because he’s smarter than the panther.”

Guest-contributor Blaine was trying to sell his motorcycle on Craiglist when the unthinkable happened: some no-good scammer tried to make him a rube! Thankfully, the ever-vigilante Blaine saw through the ruse and together we decided to fight back.

And hilarity ensued.

Creationists Found Out About Genetic Algorithms — And They Aren’t Happy

Genetics -- It works people

Genetics -- It works people

Many of you know this, but I’m a genetic algorithm fanboy. I’ve coded dozens of simulation programs and tools using these evolutionary algorithms, and even recently presented a paper on GAs at the AIAA Modeling and Simulation Technologies Conference in Chicago.

As an optimization algorithm, I can understand and appreciate the simplicity behind the GA concept –- mimic evolutionary biology to discover a solution to a system. And I must say, it’s a very elegant and sometimes creepy method of optimization; I still smile when my creatures suddenly learn how to do something new.

The application of such an algorithm is seemingly unbounded to the programmer’s ability to use them effectively. I’ve used GAs to schedule spacecraft tasks, play Yahtzee, play the stock market, bet on horse races, and even simulate a zombie apocalypse. From my own experience, I can say without hesitation that GAs can be a highly effective optimization tool.

I recently stumbled upon an article on www.Creation.com, a website by Creation Ministries International, whose purpose is to “support the church in proclaiming the truth of the Bible and thus its gospel message” and to provide “real-world answers to the most-asked questions in the vital area of creation/evolution.”

The article in question is by Dr. Don Batten and titled “Genetic algorithms – do they show that evolution works?”.

Ho boy.

Kanye Was Right (Logically Speaking)

Dammit

Dammit

My wife suckered me into watching the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs) after the Internet was abuzz over this whole Kanye West fiasco.

I’m not going to rehash how much of an ass Kanye West is (although I’m very pleased Obama put him in his place), but I did want to bring up something I’ve been noticing for a while now regarding award shows.

And unfortunately I think this means Kanye was right.

5 Things You Love That Are Also “Just a Theory”

monkeys_think

Bananas

I promised myself I wasn’t going to turn neoSpockets into a soapbox blog, but there’s been a bit too much depressing anti-evolution news in the past few weeks and I can’t keep my mouth shut any longer.

This “evolution is just a theory” battle-cry is tiring. I’ve seen this card played far too many times, and I’m fatigued in its lame attempt to make a pseudo-intelligent argument out of a clearly religious-centered theme.

Disclaimer: I’m not going to attack any specific belief system in this post, but rather show the fallacy of this common and clichéd “just a theory” argument. Let me state very clearly upfront that it honestly doesn’t matter to me what you believe in. At the end of the day, we all believe whatever solution gives us the most peace-of-mind. But when you’re passionate enough about your beliefs to start trying to discredit my boy science, I start to get a little peeved.

9 Semi-Famous Nerds to Follow on Twitter

#3.14159

#3.14159

I have yet to reach a conclusive opinion about Twitter.

Finding itself on my list of 5 Technologies That Will Be Gone in Five Years, I don’t see this social-media/micro-blogging concept staying ahead of the spammers who ruined AIM, Craigslist, and MySpace.

Personally, I could care less about what celebrities think about seasonal Starbucks coffee flavors, or what “FKAS – FOX Kansas” is up to.

But despite the spam and naval-gazing aspect of Twitter, I have to admit that I do enjoy hearing about the day-to-day’s of some of my favorite famous brainiacs.

So for those who actually want to get some quality and intelligent* posts out of their Twitter experience, I present my top 9 Semi-Famous Nerds to Follow on Twitter.

*quality and intelligence not a guarantee.

The Indisputable Evidence Box

Indisputable Box Craft PreviewI wholeheartedly endorse a justifiable amount of skepticism. I think that to whatever belief system you subscribe, it is important to occasionally look around and find all your emergency exits.

In economics, a phenomenon exists known as the endowment effect, which can be simplified to state that “people place a higher value on objects they own than on objects that they do not.” This concept extends nicely into human belief systems; it is often consciously easier for a person to discredit a competing belief, than to apply such scrutiny to their own beliefs. In effect, you continue rooting for your horse regardless of its position in the race.

Any scientist worth his/her weight in beakers will tell you that we don’t know anything for sure. Even the most studied and excepted theories have microscopic decimal of doubt. But this skepticism is an extremely important part of the scientific method and paves the way for scientific progression. Personal skepticism unfortunately doesn’t always meet with such rigor.

A good exercise in personal skepticism is the Indisputable Evidence Box. This is a strictly hypothetical test, but may fall under a “test of faith” category for some.

5 Technologies That Will Be Gone In Five Years

Sh*tIn April, 2009 FOXNews.com posted an article entitled Gadget Graveyard: 10 Technologies About to Go Extinct. I will save you the time and stigma of going to FOXNews.com and list the 10 gadgets here: landline phones, floppy disks, wristwatches, VHS tape, beepers, film cameras, typewriters, the Walkman, dial-up, and DVDs.

Really? Typewriters are just now circling the drain? Let me repeat part of that first sentence again: APRIL, 2009. Most of these are already extinct! Now I will agree that landline phones are certainly heading out of the door, but come on FOXNews. This article should have been written 5 years ago.

So here’s my response: 5 modern technologies that will be gone by 2015. Pay attention Shepard Smith.

To Build A Better Zombie

Zombies!

Sometimes I worry about zombies. Thankfully, I know a little C++.