Normal Craptivity
Jesus, did you guys see this trailer?
This movie’s gonna be insane.
Happy Halloween from neoSprockets!
Celebrity Baby House Redux
48 Babies, 12 Celebrities, 1 House
In case you’re new to neoSprockets, I occasionally like to turn the tables on would-be Craiglist scammers. A few months ago, I came across “Reverend Terry” who was trying to pull the Craigslist Renters scam.
I lured him in, and tried to make it sound as if I were a location scout for the television network FOX, and wanted to rent his property for a new reality show “Celebrity Baby House“. CBH featured a group of bumbling celebrities attempting to care for “dozens” of babies in a small Californian beach home. Terry didn’t buy it, and quickly stopped talking to me.
I was always a little mad, since I never had a chance to finish the Celebrity Baby House story. Thankfully, I got another chance this past week.
Enter “Clintons Hennessey”.
Wanted: Another Giant Leap For Mankind
NASA's new goal: make Anderson Cooper cry
I’m pissed off at NASA.
Yes. I felt exceptionally let down after their horribly anticlimactic LCROSS impact earlier this month. One 5AM retweet still reverberates in my mind: “Only NASA could make blowing up the moon boring”.
But I’m not pissed off about that. Novelist and scholar Issac Asimov once appropriately quipped “The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’ but ‘That’s funny …’”.
The fact that the impact’s plume was less than expected yields new insight and discussion. Why didn’t this behave the way we expected it to behave? What didn’t we account for? Do we need to modify our models? Or is it Neptune’s fault?
The reason I’m actually pissed off is that I believe NASA is failing (or at least slipping in their attempts) to inspire and ignite the dwindling scientific interest of our youth. And as Fountains of Wayne struggled to repeat their success of “Stacy’s Mom”, NASA too has struggled to surpass its Moon landing.
Effective Dog Training Using Motion-Activated Cameras And Foam Darts
Busted
A few weeks ago, I received a call at work from my wife.
She had just gotten home for her lunch break, and mysteriously found “Fast and Furious” playing on our TV via the DVD player. The TV and DVD remotes were also found scattered across the carpet.
Having completed our NOS-fueled, month-long “The Fast and the Furious” marathon the night before, the obvious theory was that our resident pooch Pandora (right) had gotten ahold of the remotes somehow and inadvertently (or deliberately) restarted the Vin Diesel classic still in the DVD player.
We initially passed it off as a fluke occurrence, but the following day the same thing happened again!
Troubled, I did what any card-carrying nerd would do. I set up a motion-activated webcam.
Recycling Willy Loman – A Phone Book Rant
Does not want.
I approach my front door after a long and fruitful day of labor, and as my hand explores my pants pocket for the house keys, I see a bright yellow abnormality: a bag sitting on my doormat.
The shape and weight of the unrequested package is deduced automatically; my mind boils with fury at its contents. I turn around and see others, sitting patiently on the stoops of my neighbors and between mailboxes. The bags flutter in the autumn breeze, anchored by the weight of the tomb inside.
I cannot begin to describe the overwhelming disdain I possess for phone books. To me, their presence is the equivalent of a stranger leaving five pounds of trash on my door – trash that he expects me to recycle.
The Internet’s Complaint Box
In Soviet Russia, Google deletes you!
I have been doing God’s work.
I’ve have graciously spent one of my lunch breaks patrolling and helping peeps on the Google Web Search forums. In this short time, I now fully comprehend the staggeringly low technological competence of the average Internet user.
The Google Web Search forum is a catch-all. Clicking “Search Help” at the bottom of any Google results page will take you to its door, inviting any and all forms of complaint and suggestion.
Scanning its contents, you will quickly see that Google unfairly gets blamed not only for all common software and hardware problems, but it is considered to be the omnipotent Internet moderator, deleting and adding sites from the web at their own will.
To the not-so-well-versed Internet user, this forum is a last ditch effort for support. To put it simply, this is where your grandparents seek out computer help when you don’t answer your phone.
An overwhelming majority of forum topics can be categorized into two trends: “I am being scammed” and “How come my blog isn’t appearing on Google?” But in-between, there is a mind-numbing number of questions that must be seen to be believed.
Nerd Ink
No.
The “nerd tattoo” has officially begun to ground itself in our social culture. Now, a tattoo barer can be unfairly categorized and stereotyped as follows:
- a grizzled, mustachioed Harley Davidson enthusiast,
- a brave, freedom-defending armed serviceman,
- an artsy, but slightly depressed liberal arts student
- a drunk, whorish sorority chick, or
- computer scientist with a tech blog.
The nerd tattoo is typically drastically different from all other brands, usually consisting of a mathematical equation or some reference to a popular video game in the 80’s. I’m tired of these.
Here are some tattoos I’d like to see at the next BiMonScifiCon.
NASA Probe to Penetrate Moon’s Ass
LCROSS - Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite
How’s that for an attention grabbing headline?
Mark your calendars. On October 9th, LCROSS will reach the end of its 4-month trek and slam into a crater on Earth’s favorite orbiting heavenly body.
I have conflicting reports on whether or not you should be able to see the plume of debris with a cheap-ass telescope from Target. But there should at least be two quick flashes of light from the south pole of the moon. Best to make friends with that weird guy at work with the $8000 Schmidt-Cassegrain.
For viewing info and ample graphs, NASA has provided all you’ll need. NASA TV will also have spiffy live coverage of this once-in-a-lifetime-until-China-does-it-again event.
[Flashback: LCROSS launch party]
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