53 Predictions for 2010
"I see ... spackle and a ceiling fan."
No lie.
A while back, I said to a friend, “You know what they should do? Have Tim Burton redo Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp as Wonka.”
Years later, after my Wonka reboot surfaced and fueled by my own sense of self-importance, I said to the same friend, “You know what else they should do? Have Tim Burton redo Alice in Wonderland with Scarlett Johansson as Alice.”
Okay, so I got half of that last one.
But my amazing clairvoyance was more than proven in my mind. And today I will demonstrate that my power extends beyond future Tim Burton projects.
So before everyone makes their end-of-the-year predictions for 2010, I’m going to make this more difficult on myself and make 2010 predictions two months in advance.
What will we find in 2010? Here we go:
- Michael Jackson’s secret song library leaks onto the Internet. Kanye samples using stupid pitch-correction effect. Jackson post-humorously wins Grammy.
- Twitter viruses galore. Ellen inadvertently infects millions of house-wives; husbands forced to fix the damn computer again.
- Windows 7 fails to impress; Apple gloats in increasingly unfunny ads.
Tell Your Friends
