Rupert Murdoch to Internet: “Get Off My Lawn”
Show of hands: Who doesn't understand Google?
To get everyone up to speed, Rupert Murdoch is the News Corporation CEO and owner of such fine news media outlets as Fox News, the Sun, and the Times. (By the way, the Internet needs a universally agreed upon “sarcasm” formatting.)
In recent weeks, Murdoch has begun to lay out plans to remove much of his News Corp content from the eyes of popular search engines. Claiming that sites like Google “steal” his material, Murdoch plans to implement a giant “paywall” around his news empire, forcing users to pay a subscription fee in order to view his content.
After announcing this, every tech blog and social media site went berserk with laughter, with Twitter founder Biz Stone predicting Murdoch’s plan to “fail fast”.
I, for one, cannot wait to see this grumpy old man fight the Internet. To me, Rupert Murdoch is the 12:00-flashing VCR of the 21st century.
BREAKING NEWS: The Internet Causes Autism!
(Click for larger version)
As the above graph clearly shows, the number of reported autism cases in the United States directly correlates with the size of the Internet.
Holy crap! The Internet is causing autism!
How can those rich brainiacs at Google and Microsoft sleep at night, knowing their technology is somehow polluting our children’s bodies with dangerous toxins? At this rate, by 2068 every single person in America will have autism! This is an outrage!
Why haven’t the major news networks caught on to this? Obviously they are in bed with the big pharmaceutical companies who want this information suppressed from the public eye!
Email your relatives and spread the word! Don’t use the Internet!
Tell Your Friends
