With director Roland Emmerich’s “2012” just around the corner, I am already banging my head at some of the insane visual effects seen in the trailer. But Roland isn’t just now figuring out how to piss off a nation of scientists and engineers, he’s been doing it for over a decade.
In his first big summer blockbuster “Independence Day” back in 1996, Emmerich had computer scientists yelling at the screen.
Faced with an alien invasion, an ingenious solution is proposed. “I gave it a cold. A computer virus.” Jeff Goldblum reveals, as though impressed with his own words.
At the time, the general movie-going audience nodded along with Jeff – “A virus! Of course! That makes sense! Do that!”
Jeff Goldblum somehow quickly writes a virus for an unknown alien operating system, uploads it without a hitch to its host through an alien interface he’s never seen, and even arrogantly includes a laughing animated skull GIF complete with sound effects.
Officially, I am appalled at Roland’s ignorance toward physics, science, and engineering. He’s not the first director to violate a physical law or two, but unofficially I pick on Roland because I secretly love his movies. Yes, I will admit I still get chills when Bill Pullman does his presidential speech in ID4, and I still root for the old man fishing in that scene from Godzilla.
So in either anticipation or despair for the release of “2012”, here are my favorite cringe-worthy Hollywood science mistakes, most of them featuring my buddy Roland Emmerich.
Between screwing with Nigerian spammers and trying to retire before 30, I watch an unhealthy amount of movies and TV. And much to my wife's regret, I am unbiasedly one of those "that-will-never-happen-in-real-life" people.
It's funny. Because while I can suspend infinite disbelief watching Bruce Willis destroy a helicopter with a shoe lace (not even his own), what get to me are the little things. Coffee cups, for example. Actors love to use overly expressive arm gestures while supposedly holding a full, boiling hot mocha latte. Now, I'm no fluids engineer, but I'm so paranoid about spills it takes me two minutes to walk to the coffee machine and 10 minutes to get back to my desk. Ladies, why wasn't Rory Gilmore scolded horribly by her mother every week?
I can usually overlook most of these flaws, but what really get to me are tech errors. Now you're on my turf, Hollywood. I understand that the goal is entertainment, but come on. You're embarrassing yourself.
